Traumatized: Meet The Robinsons
by Chrissy Calavicci
Summary: Wilbur Robinson is given the talk. To avoid embarrassment, he goes back in time before he was born haha to try and talk his dad out of it all. He stumbles in at the wrong time and is traumatized. T for safety. Horror for laughs. :


**A/N: Haha! This story came about on the 405 in L.A. I was incredibly angry about the L.A. Festival of books, so as a distraction from my anger, my friend and I came up with a couple of one shots. Here's one of them! Wilbur gets the "talk" and decides he wants to make it so the "talk" doesn't happen. It's kinda a shot off a line in my other story, so I hope you enjoy it! By the way, Chrissy is the gal he was caught with. (But it isn't that hard to figure out!) If you read the other story "A Birthday To Remember" she's mentioned.  
**

**Traumatized**

When it came to timing, Wilbur Robinson was horrible. He always showed up at the wrong time, especially when it came to time travel.

For most people, the concept of time travel was easy. You figure out when you want to go and you go. For Wilbur, the date was always right, but the hour…not so much.

The only thing on fourteen-year old Wilbur's mind was the embarrassing "talk" he had just had with his father. Fortunately, his dad had kept his mom out of it and even helped him sneak his girlfriend out the window, but he still had the talk.

It had been pretty funny to watch his dad's ears turn red, which proved the embarrassment was great for both, but he'd rather not be embarrassed at all. When he arrived at the Robinson household of the past, it was after dark.

Lucille had answered the door, happy, smiling and completely alert despite the hour. "Hi gra-" Wilbur stopped himself, "Mrs. Robinson. Is Cornelius home?"

She looked at him with a confused expression, "you seem younger," she mused, but then shrugged; "Cornelius is probably sleeping. It's kind of late isn't it young man?"

"Too much caffeine," he smiled, "I can't sleep."

"Come on in." She laughed, "His room is-"

"Down the hall," he stated, "I know. Thank you!" He headed down the hall until he found his dad's room. Once there, he knocked on the door.

"Go away!" Cornelius shouted.

"It's me." Wilbur answered back.

"I said go away!" Cornelius shouted again.

"I really need to talk to you." He said with a sense of urgency.

"Tomorrow!" Cornelius answered with a hint of annoyance.

Wilbur rolled his eyes, "I said now!" He threw open the door only to find a scene even more traumatizing than the "talk".

Franny screamed and threw herself completely under the covers while Cornelius threw a pillow at Wilbur, "I said _later_!"

"Oh God!" Wilbur shielded his eyes, "I'm blind!" He ran back out of the room screaming, "My eyes! They BURN!" He shut the door and headed for the garage.

Cornelius shook his head, "I'd better go talk to him."

"You really _should_ talk to that friend of yours." Franny frowned, "I mean, his timing has always been bad, but this is ridiculous." After a sigh, she added, "did he look younger to you?"

Cornelius just waved it off, got up and got dressed. "I'll be back." He walked around the house wondering if Wilbur had left or not when he ran into Lucille, "Mom! Have you seen Wilbur?"

"He ran towards the garage." She answered, "Does he look younger to you?"

"That's just the lighting." Cornelius shook his head, "Thanks!" He headed towards the garage and found Wilbur in an almost fetal position in the corner. "Are you okay?"

"Am I okay?" Wilbur stood up and started getting extremely animated, "Am I OKAY? Oh my GOD. I just walked in on my _parents _and you're asking if I'm okay?"

"For the record," Cornelius laughed, "I _did _warn you." Wilbur just made a face. "What did you need anyway? It seemed pretty important."

"You know what?" Wilbur shrugged, "I've got all the help I need. Thanks." He turned and left, "See you in the future."

Cornelius stepped out and watched as Wilbur took off in the time machine. "I hope I didn't scar him for life."

Wilbur snuck back in his window and climbed into bed. The next morning, he woke up, when he heard the doorbell ring. "Who could be here this early?" He looked over at the clock and noticed it was ten in the morning. "Yikes." He jumped out of bed and ran to the front door.

* * *

"Hi Mrs. Robinson!" a cheerful voice sounded, "Is Wilbur home?" 

"Of course Chrissy," he could hear his mom smiling, "Come on in."

"No!" Wilbur jumped into view, "Chrissy, you have to go. I'm sick." He faked a cough or two, "Honestly, I can't hang out today."

"Wilbur?" Both Franny and Chrissy gave him a weird look.

"Sorry!" Wilbur waved goodbye as he turned to leave. He didn't notice his father standing in the hallway.

Franny however, did notice and after she shut the door, she turned to her husband, "What is wrong with that boy?"

"What do you mean?" Cornelius asked.

"One minute, I can't separate those two without the jaws of life and today he doesn't want to have anything to do with her?" She shook her head, "Something's wrong. It's like reverse hormones."

Cornelius laughed, "I'll go talk to him." He went over to Wilbur's room and knocked on the door, "Son?"

"Go away dad!" Wilbur crossed his arms. His father was the _last _person he wanted to see right now.

Cornelius opened the door anyway, "You used the time machine last night didn't you?"

"Don't worry dad," Wilbur frowned, "If your sex talk didn't work, walking in on you and mom sure did. I am _never _having sex. I'm traumatized. I don't even want to look at a girl ever again! Ew! That's just gross!"

His father laughed, "I remember that night. It was pretty bad wasn't it?"

"Ew! I don't even want to talk about it!"

"I did warn you."

"Gross! Seriously dad, you don't have to worry about me ever." He made a face, "I would rather spork my eyes out than…ew."

"That's a good answer," Cornelius grinned, "I'm sure you'll change your mind someday."

"Nope."

"Keep saying that until you're about thirty," Cornelius stated, "and I'll be happy."


End file.
